My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
