You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
