so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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