Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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