After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
