So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
