we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
