Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
