I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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