My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
