Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
