Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
that is very illegal...i love you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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