he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
