i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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