obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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