Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
