You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
