suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
