So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it because I queefed?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
