I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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