On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
