Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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