her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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