Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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