He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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