She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
