that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So vagazzling was a success
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
