My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He better not be in your backpack
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
