And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
