We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
