I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
