Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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