I hate your face
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
