we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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