I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
