my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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