Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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