their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
