I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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