OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
