she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
