we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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