i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
