Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
