I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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