ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
