Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
