i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
