Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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