I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
